Fear is a lazy bastard

“Fear is a lazy bastard. It comes from the most primitive part of the brain. It takes no work and no intelligence.” John Hope Bryant, Love Leadership

Fear is an emotion that can hold us, limit us or drive us. Fear is one of the six basic emotions we share with animals. When it comes to leading people fear may deliver short term results but it comes at great cost. In contrast the other five emotions sadness, anger, happiness, surprise and love utilize the part of the brain that thinks, finds meaning and remembers. Qualities found in passionate and caring leaders who truly want to connect with people and develop relationships in order to serve others. John Hope Bryant calls these individuals Love Leaders.

In my quest to grow The Natural Leader business I have had the great privilege of meeting a few of these Love Leaders. Each has touched my life in a different way each demonstrated a quality I needed to learn. Sometimes it was a learning realized simply through my own fear of failing.

Barbara Ross, sister, friend and strongest supporter. Barb is devoted to so many others, she has volunteered as a board member, fund raiser and for the past three months as full time Executive Director of Inn from the Cold to bring them through a critical transition period.
Fred Jacques, my mentor and partner through the programs we have delivered together. His knowledge, experience and willingness to share is inspiring.
Barbara Thrasher, believed in what we had to offer from her first introduction to the programs. She has continued to promote, support and encourage me – reminding without words on the importance of patience.
Kathy Pinder, Director of the Famous 5 I had the honour to work with Kathy on the 80th Anniversary of the ‘Persons Case’, her energy, enthusiasm and commitment is unwaivering.
Frances Wright, founder of the Famous 5 lives the importance of the role of women in developing a world worth living in.
Barbara Dodd-Jones for her participation and her willing endorsement in support of Equine instinct to better human Emotional Intelligence.
Suzanne Fitzhenry, Suzanne has been incredible in her ability to promote the University of
Calgary programs continually creating wait lists.
Donna Kennedy-Glans, has inspired me. Leadership in one of Canada’s largest oil companies taught her about the importance of self, family and belief. She continues to unveil opportunities for others through CanadaBridges.com
Jan Hornford, an aspiring equestrian with a positive energy and caring grace. Jan has a passion for people, her encouragement was the source of doing things differently this past year.
Christopher Byron, my husband, partner and best friend he both encourages and challenges me.

Each of these individuals helped me see that in failure lies great opportunity. It is simply about the choices we make. “Never say can’t and never say impossible. The difficult you do immediately, the impossible takes a little longer.”1 Love leadership is about caring more about what others think, need and want than you think about yourself.

I always connect my leadership learnings to what my horses have taught me – this topic is no different. Animals are great teachers of unconditional love they accept us for who were are based on how we treat them. Horses can be absolute grace under pressure – so willing to forgive.

Rhys and I have had our journey this past year. It was only when I was ready to commit and banish my fear of failure Rhys was there waiting to follow my lead. It is a path I am willing to take in my business and my life. Failure like falling is something you do but you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and carry on. Loving what you are doing makes it that much easier.

Thanks to all of you I haven’t mentioned those who encouraged, participated and provided critical feedback and continue to influence my life. A great 2010 to all.

1- I am honoured to give credit where it is due – John Hope Byrant is the author of Love Leadership

Yoga & Horses

While I've long believed yoga is the perfect compliment to horsemanship - I am an inconsistent practitioner. I tend to get back into practicing yoga when the aches of horsemanship or more likely farm work awaken and stress muscles you forget you have.

It was the closing of the Warrior sequence in the Namaste yoga dvd that had me thinking about the deeper connections. "If you were to take on one small challenge, one tiny awakening, what would it be?" Awakening isn't a term one typically associates with horsemanship but one that easily applies to leadership.

As I moved through the poses and listened to the suggestions of Potters voice, the closer the words related to my pursuit of horsemanship. Breathing, reaching for what is comfortable, seeing how far I can go looking for that release in my rather inflexible feeling body.

I envision myself on a colt asking for the same things. Ray Hunt said everything comes down to "feel, timing and balance" and had he tried it, I'm sure he would say the same about yoga.

"Don't worry about how it looks, notice how it feels." the next phrase that resonates as I reach up lengthening my body to her words, trying to look a margin of what I am seeing on the tv screen. I certainly don't reflect the hard, flexible bodies of the women demonstrating the poses - and she is smiling while I simply try and breath! I breath deeply and reach, it feels better as my muscles relax. I am slowly getting there.

As someone who rides mostly on my own I rarely get caught up in how I look, in fact I often think I should video tape myself to see what I look like. Watching riders at a recent clinic some appeared to be consumed with what others were thinking but as they start focusing on the feel of the horse they too seemed to lose sense of the audience and false expectations they were placing on themselves.

In my view horsemanship, yoga and leadership are all intrinsic activities, I do what I can for others and I do them for me and that makes me feel good.

It's Your Behaviour

"Titles are granted, but it's your behaviour that wins you respect." Opening words to the first practice of The Leadership Challenge.

Model the Way; Inspire a Shared Vision; Challenge the Process; Enable Others to Act and Encourage the Heart are the Five Practices of The Leadership Challenge and have proven to be a great reference for The Natural Leader programs. This past weekend in High River Alberta, Buck Brannaman capably demonstrated that the five practices of leadership apply equally well to to the pursuit of horsemanship.

"to gain commitment you must be a model of the behaviour you expect of others." Model the Way is about demonstrating behaviour, it is about being clear on what is important to you and prepared to set the example. Clear on his commitment Brannaman's presence demonstrates he is prepared to help others in their horsemanship journey.

The words and topics he uses are not often heard in the boardroom, but the concepts couldn't be closer. Brannaman talks about having a picture in your minds eye of what you want to do before you start. "Do less than what you think it's going to take and then do what it takes to get the job done." Through stories of his own struggles, his admiration for his mentor Ray Hunt and humorous interpretations of his teachings Brannaman created and Inspired a Shared Vision.

His word's don't simply inspire, but they Challenge the Process engaging people into action. By sharing and demonstrating activities where a person learns from their failure, or as Brannaman puts it "an opportunity to get better" he sets it up for the horse human relationship to improve. The goal of attending the clinic was to improve to horsemanship skills, but as his website claims "horses and life it's all the same to me." Brannaman creates possibility, he Enables Others to Act limited only by the level of commitment each is prepared to make. The art of horsemanship is to make the horse look better.

Through his skill Brannaman is able to foster collaboration and build trust, so others believe they too can achieve something they previously thought unattainable, he Encourages the Heart.

Working through the challenge of making my horses look better has taught me, horsemanship and leadership ..... it is all about my behaviour.

The image at the start of the article is a Garcia Spade Bit, an example of the finest in silver, copper and steel craftmanship. While bits always raise controversy in the horse world, it is rarely the bit and always how humans use them. To Brannaman the spade represents the ultimate in trust and communication based on respectful relationship. As his mentor Ray Hunt said "Anyone can ride a horse bridle-less but only those with the highest level of commitment can ride a horse with a spade bit."

The Gender Parity

You can ask a stallion, tell a gelding, but you have a discussion with a mare. Cowboy Wisdom

Known for the Stampede and Spruce Meadows, Calgary is a hub for international competitors and horses. At these levels of competition one can't help but notice the number of mares represented in the final round of cattle work, that famous eight second ride or the jump- off. It is a gender parity that puts the business community to shame.

While women may be present in a higher proportion in both the workplace and the stables, there continues to be a higher representation of males in senior management and geldings in the barns. I broached this observation on an equine related discussion board and the thread quickly drifted to typical gender stereotypes, hormones, personality preferences and dominant versus passive behaviour. Similar reasons as to why mares are relegated to brood herds and women left out of the board room.

As with all my articles I seem to waller¹ around for a while before I decide what it is I really want to say. Sydney helped me gain some clarity this morning. The most confident horse I have ever owned, she has never questioned her own ability. Many people who have had the opportunity to work with her have remarked "that scanning the herd she hadn't caught their eye, but her personality is one you cannot ignore." What I am fairly confident about is in other hands she would be labeled a difficult horse.

Just as men and women view the same problem from different angles, a mares perspective on us differs from that of a gelding. Horse clinician Julie Goodnight suggests that "working with mares requires that we develop a meaningful relationship in order for them to bond with us as they would a herd mate."

It is coming to understand this different perspective that has helped me grow in my horsemanship skills. A mare asks more of us as a leader and it is this questioning style that often puts people at odds with mares. The mindset of many horse owners is they should just do as I ask but, as we have seen time and again in our sessions, what we think we are asking and what the horse reads are often two completely different requests.

Thinking about how mares have been stereotyped what surprises me is how often I have heard from a women "they would never ride a mare." A participant of a recent session couldn't have framed it better when reflecting on his experience with lead mare Zoe "she was clearly allowing me to lead her". He held no illusion that he was the leader simply because he held the lead rope. With both mares and geldings in our herd I have learned a lot about group dynamics. Every horse has learned behaviours but each has their own unique personality and background. It is the differences in the gender dynamics in the playground, the workplace and the stables that maintains a dynamic, growing and caring environment.

To update that cowboy saying on mares I would prefer to suggest "you need to engage in dialogue with a mare." as too often a discussion ends up being one sided. Being open to a dialogue with Sydney or any of the other mares in the herd has allowed me to see what each excels at. Dialogue requires that we not only express our opinion but we that listen to other perspectives. When you find that area of common interest a mare's loyalty is unquestionable they will truly put their heart and soul into getting you to the final round.

1-Waller - in this context is in reference to the aimless and sometimes purposeless requests we make of our horses, to the point they simply shut us out.

Learning from the Herd

At first glance, the herd is a fairly static environment with roles, responsibilities and daily schedules. A horse is a highly social animal which means a range of interactions but the herd is both constant and ever changing reflecting a routine set by the seasons, the weather and us.

Our herd is a mix of geldings, mares and one donkey ranging in age from two to sixteen. Observing them over the years highlights the similarities and the subtle changes that emerge as the number of horses has grown. In Animals Make Us Human, Temple Grandin suggests it is the horse's very social nature that has made them so easy for us to domesticate - they don't mind when territories cross, they are willing to live together in a created herd and they have a built in desire to cooperate.

A domestic herd is limited by the space they have to share, don't have much of a choice as to who joins them and within limits they get along pretty well. With those parameters it is relatively easy to pull parallels from the herd to the workplace. To work well in a team we often need to be able to manage an open office environment, work with individuals we might not choose to spend time with and cooperation is not always the hallmark of being human.

Like a workplace team, the herd also has to deal with internal and external influences. Internal change is far more fluid than the stresses that we inflict on them but what is interesting and most reflective of workplace is how the herd collectively manages external stress.

From time to time change is imposed on the herd whether it's adjusting the clock, adding a new member or splitting the herd up a change can be fiercely defended. Generally horses are not great at managing change and they treat change with the commitment of a life and death scenario. The herd quickly becomes a cohesive unit acting and responding in the interest of the group, old alliances are strengthened and new bonds are created, working together to either accept or repel the influence.

Change seems to be a constant that we cannot repel or ignore, but what we can do is manage how it impacts us personally. While we often feel alone in the turmoil of change supporting others through the process is another innate human characteristic. The herd demonstrates the importance of sticking together and supporting others while being open and willing to accept and adapt to what shows up.

Building on What Works

I love the opportunity to hone my horsemanship skills by riding with folks who are better than I. End of June, I travelled down to Bozeman, Montana to ride with Buck Brannaman. This year everything took on new meaning as I was able to see some of last years forgotten explanations from a different perspective. As the horse master Tom Dorrance said "the first thing you need is the last thing you'll learn."

For years riding instructors stood in the middle of the arena and yelled out what not to do as you walked, trotted and cantered around the arena. Fortunately few of those experiences stuck as I was no doubt more concerned with saving my life than listening to the person barking instructions. I learn best by a combination of inputs and now understand why those university lectures went in one ear and out the other, just listening isn't my forte.

The mentors I now choose best reflect my learning style, teachers who are on their horses explaining what they are going to do and why, showing me how they do it and then letting me do it. Horsemanship, like leadership is about the why, it is about feel. It is about knowledge through experience, timing and recognising what shows up.

This years clinic included a number of competitive tasks which may sound contrary to what you believe the concepts of what natural horsemanship are. What became clearer to me this year is horsemanship is about being fair but effective through simple, consistent and clear communication. LIke all aspects of leadership It is about understanding why, being focused on the outcome and being ready to support no matter what shows up.

Competition magnifies the expectations we place on ourselves. It was interesting to watch where the desire to win got in the way of success. When my focus was on the time, Maddison became increasingly resistant. Reflecting on the successful outcome of some of the complex elements, I realise I was more concerned with Maddison than winning and we worked better together.

We have used competitive elements in our programs and it is so easy to observe where task versus relationship tips the scale. Those of you who have participated know the hands-on learning with horses is a far cry from a powerpoint presentation with simulations. The programs are about executing a series of relatively simple tasks through explanation, demonstration and then experience. The links you personally make from the horses to work, home or life in general through the facilitated discussions or reflection moments you share with us, is where the real learning happens.

We try and set up our sessions so we are able to reach you no matter your learning style. We recognised early on in our program development that the workplace doesn't need a whole new set of leadership practices. What people in the workplace are ready for is another way to view relevant and common ideas and principles that need to become habits in our bodies instead of just our heads.

The Desire to Gain

"Fear of Loss is greater than the desire to gain." Jeffrey Gitomer

The more I work with people and horses the more frequently I see fear of "what might happen" instead of being present to what is happening.

If the name Gitomer sounds familiar, you may know the statement refers to sales, not leadership or even horses.

I had the pleasure of attending the Art of Sales as a guest of Brian Pleet of Strategico a couple of weeks ago. The statement on fear was simply a few of the words that rang true for me as I listened to Gitomer speak.

It is interesting how a presentation on sales offers the same concepts we reference for horsemanship, leadership, communication and life in general.

Gitomer summarized his presentation with five key points:
· Attitude
· Belief in self
· Love of what you do
· Being prepared
· & above all Self-confidence

What we believe to be true

Would you walk under a ladder? Open an umbrella inside..... or break a chain letter? These were but a few of the beliefs put to the test on a recent airing of the CBC show DNTO (Definitely Not the Opera). Through an account of humorous and superstitious beliefs that both limit and inspire us, the host explored "What we believe but cannot prove."

What we believe is influenced by our family, our community and our experience. Beliefs can be factual, derived or acquired, they allow us to predict events and consider the consequences of our actions. Beliefs hold a powerful grip on our emotions and are the hallmark of being human.

Sam Harris, an author who examines the tenets of religion suggests "beliefs are both logically and semantically related. Each constrains, and is in turn constrained by, many others." The statement holds true for a range of leadership issues we face on a daily basis.

Leadership requires that we sometimes question our own beliefs. Believing we have no control of an outcome can paralyze us. Great leaders frequently make reference to a peer, a boss, a friend, a mentor, who believed in what they could do when they were not sure of their own abilities.

The limiting factor may simply be knowledge, so fill in that gap. If the know how and skill is there, then it may be a previous experience in your way. You may be holding back based on a belief that this situation will turn out the same as the last. Alternately the barrier might be the knowledge that someone executing something similar failed. "Each constrains, and in turn is constrained by, many others." Factual, acquired or derived.

Rhys, a five year old red dun quarter horse, represented my limiting belief. I did not know what had happened to cause a previous wreck, so I had derived a range of possible scenarios that got in my way. I had someone who believed I could do it so I had to confront my own beliefs with the facts that I had the skill, the knowledge and the experience to succeed. Letting go of my fear of failing was the only belief holding me back.

"Anytime we do anything that involves chance, and everything involves chance, there is always that moment afterwards when you wonder if you should have done it." There is also nothing more exhilarating than taking that risk and realizing success. Go ahead walk under the ladder.

In Admiration

What leaders do you admire? Just as a horse will mirror our habits, we reflect what we experience. Our own leadership philosophy can be shaped by many individuals and finding someone you truly admire helps the whole journey appear to be that much easier.

A fine horseman I had the great pleasure to ride with a couple of years ago, died last week. A legend in horsemanship circles Ray Hunt was a man who lead by example offering his 80 years of wisdom to anyone interested in learning.

Dubbed The Master of Communication, it was a title stuck. Ray may not have been known for his people skills but his horse skills are unquestionable. Ray always said he was in it for the horse. He showed people how to behave, so their horses had a chance.

Ray had been repeating that perspective for over forty years. It wasn’t just that he talked about what people should do but he showed people how easy it could be to have an outstanding partner in your horse. Ray may well have influenced more generations of horsemen and women than any other single horseman.

Ray likely just considered himself a horseman but John Maxwell suggests "to be a successful leader you must surround yourself with people who can respond to five key questions".

• Do they display exemplary character in everything they do?
• Do they bring complementary gifts to the table?
• Do they hold a strategic position and have influence within the organization?
• Do they add value to the organization and to the leader?
• Do they positively affect other members of the inner circle?

These kind of people flocked to Ray, spawning decades of horse people willing to let the horse’s perspective be held in high regard. Ray has clearly demonstrated he created an inner circle that many top executives would envy.

Displaying integrity in all he did, Ray offered the most humble of gifts to every horse human combination he encountered, respect. Ray was able to see the inherit talent in a horse when the owner couldn’t, and an argument was never personal. It wasn’t about you, it was about the horse.

Ray has been a part of my leadership and horsemanship journey. He helped me understand like the reins we hold in our hands connecting to the two most sensitive parts of the horse human team. The responsibility we are given in leading others represents the most fragile part of the organization.

The Bigger Picture

"For us to make sense of something it has to fit with what we already believe to be true or the bigger picture."1

For some that truth is horses are dangerous, for others they are an icon of beauty and freedom. Horses touch our emotions like few concepts or experiences can.

Experiential education is a way to extend truths and engage emotions in learning by doing. The premise, get people out of their comfort zone to access emotions and the corresponding problem solving skills that rarely are generated through reading or listening. Experiences familiar to enhancing leadership learning or team interaction are ropes courses and rafting. Working with a horse represents yet one more option, the key difference being horses introduce the aspect of free will.

A leader must continually manage interpretations and perceptions of both external and internal influences. While height, a rock face or rapids may be a metaphor for the challenges of the workplace, reaction to the obstacle determines the stress we put ourselves in and ultimately the outcome.

As a prey animal the horse's will is to survive, to do that they are keenly aware of their environment. The metaphor of the horse in leadership, team or change management learning represents the multiplicity of outcomes. Unlike a rope that will hold despite demonstrated fear, a horse may not. It is the relationship you build and the emotional intelligence that you demonstrate that determines the result.

The Equine Guided Education Association holds an annual conference in Valley Ford, California. This year I had the privilege of presenting an example of the work The Natural Leader offers. The focus of the presentation was to demonstrate how horses support emotionally intelligent learning. The Big Picture provides a three-dimensional perspective on the attributes of awareness of self and others.

The Big Picture brilliantly demonstrates how horses quickly reflect our emotions. Observers are given a glimpse as to how emotion and intention might be perceived by others through our actions.

Like any new leader, as I walked through a different herd awareness was on high. When my actions began to demonstrate negative energy and the emotions of anger, disgust or fear the impact on the horses was powerful. My energy represented how we can be so wrapped up in our own thoughts that we can't see when our actions are perceived differently by others. Inadvertently sending the wrong message.

As I talked through the objectives of the activity bringing my energy down to acknowledge the presence of others and my actions demonstrated the emotions of interest and acceptance. The horses immediately reflected the change and were willing to not only engage but were prepared to accept me.

The Big Picture activity has always brought to attention some of the most meaningful discussion and memorable moments in our programs. Developed from the concepts outlined in the 2001 article The Work of Leadership, the activity offers participants the opportunity to view interaction of the herd before they get into the midst, or as Heifitz & Laurie suggest on to the dance floor.

As a leader we must not only face the external challenges but our own internal ones. Developing our emotional intelligence through active and reflective practice helps us respond better when the stakes are high. By recognizing when and how our emotions are demonstrated through our actions we inspire the will in others.

1. Bushe, Gervase, Clear Leadership

The Emotional Roller Coaster

If a year could be captured by an image, 2008 would be a roller coaster.

Political, social or financial, it was a year of emotion. With stories of fear leading in the news, managing reaction and creating hope in 2009 will be the greatest challenge. Emotion, reaction and risk go hand-in-hand. If leadership is defined by a willingness to take risks, then 2009 is the year of opportunity.

The good news is, as we get older we also get wiser, and we learn that we can balance emotion and reason to manage risk. Our Emotional Intelligence, or EQ, is what assists us here. Not to be confused with our IQ or cognitive intelligence, which is pretty much set by age 17, emotional intelligence is something we can bank on improving as we get older. Ron Short succinctly defines emotional intelligence as "The ability to be aware of our emotions and manage them effectively" and "The ability to relate with others in effective ways."1

While IQ may be a necessary foundation for being able to develop and interpret your EQ, emotional intelligence isn't a skill gained through reading. It is developed through experiencing the actions, the emotions and the decisions. Emotional intelligence is about developing the "short-term, tactical, "dynamic" skills that can be brought into play as the situation warrants." 2

Our greatest gains in developing our emotional intelligence happen when we step outside our comfort zone. As some of you have experienced risk and emotion are inextricably linked when it comes to working with horses, that is also what makes them perfect for leadership awareness learning.

Time and again I am experiencing that with Rhys. I have previously written of a tumble off of Rhys, well the whole story is a concussion and cracked vertebrae. So yes, I see a bit more risk in riding him. That is where my problems lie, you see as my mirror he is also reflecting my emotions. If fear surfaces, I no longer can be effective in communicating with him.

I've seen similar debilitating emotions show up through the simple act of meeting a horse, deciding to make that next career move or having that uncomfortable conversation. What I recognize is that something that sounds simple is not necessarily easy when the action is outside of your typical comfort zone. Learning to recognize the emotions that show up for you and how you want to reflect them based on knowledge and skill you already possess will help determine what actions define your next step.

Regardless of what 2009 has in store for each of us we can only manage how we respond and react to the opportunities presented. Leadership is about managing the emotional roller coaster we find ourselves on - whether it is a ride we choose or one that shows up.

1. R. Short, Learning in Relationships
2. S.J, Stein, H.E.Book, The EQ Edge